Better than Me
by Romancelover1321
Summary: Yusei thoughts on the divorce. What really happened? What made him go?


This is a revised version. I didn't like the other one and every time I thought of this story I felt disappointed with it but now I like it a lot better and have no regrets about it.

When we were married were considered the perfect couple. The stupid tabloids put a poll in there magazines to see who would stay longer married than this other couple. We won.

I usually didn't read that junk but Aki would scan through the magazines while waiting in the unrealistically long lines at the super market.

Any time they had anything about us or just one of us, Aki would buy it and while one of us was making dinner she would read it out loud for the both us. On those days I usually cooked.

The first time I met her was in the destroyed road in the Satellite. She had the same mark as me. I was pretty sure her mark was burning her muscles and shooting waves of pain just like mine.

The next time I saw her was the tournament.

The first match for her in the tournament every one thought he had backed Aki to a corner but I had some weird feeling in the pit of stomach. I knew she was going to win even when everyone else doubted it.

Sure enough she did win. Most of the spectators were shocked, not only by her win but how badly hurt her opponent ended up. They soon cried witch, screaming profanities, but she ignored as if it was something of an everyday thing. Like brushing your teeth, taking a shower every day.

The next duel convinced me she was more than a witch and something scarier. Much, much scarier. I couldn't shake the feeling that someone was going to get hurt in this duel and it was not going to be the Black Witch. Yet again, I was right. I watched as the brought the guy to the hospital in the arena.

Everyone kept telling me to win. Tanner was the only one who acknowledged her powers. I knew this match wasn't going to be easy but then again has anything in my life had been easy.

I was watching as she put the mask on. Did she not get it? The face already knew her name and seen her world. Hiding her face behind a mask would not save anything. It would only make things work.

"Don't put the mask on." I demanded. Even though I said it in a normal voice, the crowd was shouting for me to slaughter the witch, but I knew she heard. Then when she looked up at me, the white opera like mask was already on her face.

"You're too late." She whispered back to me.

The duel at the beginning was okay until the climax. She made her monster wrap its thorny vines over my torso and even I struggled but the vines just tightened. I already could feel a warm liquid flowing down both of my arms and a slight prickle of pain.

Then the real pain came, when she sent me crashing to the stone floor. The side of my head and my body pounded in pain with my heartbeat.

I was about to get up when a pain in my leg forced my knee to bend. It felt like spiders crawling up my skin, shocking me as they climbed up my leg and to my limp arm.

That's when I realized. She enjoyed other peoples, pain, misery, destruction.

"You enjoy inflicting pain on others." The crowd was tense and the air reeked of fear. I heard her gasp then it was quiet for a few minutes. I knew it. She was guilty for hurting those people.

"I'm the Black Rose. I'm just a fearful lady who enjoys destruction."

She accepted it. She accepted that she was just a weapon for mass destruction. I knew I was going to get out of the Satellite and save my friends. She needed to realize that she could be free and I was going to be the one to show her.

The duel got more violent, her powers got out of hand. The arena was just a ghost of what it used to be. It now was crumbled, ruined into pieces to say though the bulk of it was still standing. I could hear the audience fleeing the arena in a fright, screaming and yelling for their lives. I knew I had to end this duel quickly or someone else would get hurt.

One of my attacks made her mask break in half. Her eyes still covered but her pale pink lips and her sharp shaped jaw was showing. I wanted to see her face. I wanted to see the face of Akiza Izinski.

With one table turning move, I won the duel. She took the mask off and one crystal tear fell down her caramel brown eyes down her pale porcelain cheek.

She was begging me to save her. Something made my heart beat fast in my chest and I was about to step to her when Sayer draped his jacket over her shoulders.

She wanted me to saver her. To let her free and get out of that hell Sayer created for her. He was the only thing holding her back from a new life.

I was furious about both of them. Why did she let him take her away? Couldn't she see that he was the reason that she was suffering? Why people hated her? Couldn't she see he was using her for her powers?

But he had his faults too. How could he use her like that? Was all she a tool of destruction? She had feelings. She felt guilt for all the opponents she hurt, she felt guilt for the pain she inflicted on others. Did he know that she was in guilt of knowing that she would be hated by the same race as her, no matter if male or female, all her life without a chance to explain herself?

I watched him sling his grubby arm on her. Someone as cruel devious and as evil as him shouldn't be allowed to touch, look, or breath the same air as her.

Where did that thought come from? I never thought of anyone, let alone Akiza like that before. But I didn't have time I ponder these troublesome feelings. I have other things to worry about. More important things.

Just right after Kalin's death, which I could have saved him, Jack told me the news of Aki in coma. Jack called me to meet me one day after one of my duels.

I drove to the café and parked in my usual place. I then walked into the building and made my way to Jack, who sat in the back.

I sat down and studied at Jack. He seemed focused. I asked him what was up. He just looked at me, his violet eyes hard and cold.

"Aki is in coma. Her parents came to me and I told them that you're the only one who could help her." My heart skipped a beat when I heard the news.

What happened that made her go into coma? Was she okay? Why did Jack tell them that I could save her? I barely could save my own best friend, how did he think I could save her?

It's not like I didn't want to save her. Right now my heart was beating, pounding in my chest to go save her but how could I? We were not close. Every time I got close and thought to consider us friends, she would close up. Why did her parents want to save her now? Why did her parents want to be part of her life after neglecting her for so long?

I looked at Jack, his eyes ice cold with determination. I told him I couldn't do. Jack looked at me in disbelief, like I was crazy. He asked me why not. I could hear his voice get deeper and a little harsh, his tone saying that he was getting annoyed.

If I can't save my own friend then how am I going to save Aki, was my reason. No one spoke, just studied, and glared, anything to beat the other one. It was between violet and cobalt, pain and determination versus a closed cracked heart.

"You love her, that's why." The words rang in my head. I didn't love her. Not at all. My heart would pound really hard when she was around. When she stared at me with those caramel eyes I felt as if she was the only thing in the world. My breath would catch in my throat and wait.

Was I really in love? Was I really in love with Aki? I didn't know. All I knew is that I wanted to save Aki, and so I agreed.

I met her parents first and they explained everything. They explained all the little incidents of her powers, Aki's first duel, the rumors at Duel Academy, everything. Martha was there too.

In the Satellite, Martha was considered the Mother. She was the mother of all the abandoned children in the Satellite. When Martha heard the news, she helped lighten the mood.

"Besides I want to meet your future wife." Everyone was roaring with laughter. I vehemently denied but I couldn't help but laugh myself. It somehow didn't sound that bad. Not bad at all.

We walked into the white washed hospital room and there she was. Lying on the bed, a frown sketched on her face, her hair gently laid on her pillow, contrasting with the white. She looked like an angel right there.

My thoughts at that time were jumbled mess. I thought she was beautiful but it pained me to see her in the hospital.

I walked to the left side of the bed. I stood at the edge of bed, only an arm's reach away from my fingertips brushing her cheeks.

I watched as the rise and fall of her chest. Her breathing was even and quiet I barely heard it.

"Aki." I whispered her name.

She woke up with a startle, throwing her upper body from the bed.

"Yusei." She yelled my name. She came out of coma. She yelled my name. My name. Not Sayer but my name.

She was panting, little drips of cold sweat falling down from her brow. She looked around the hospital with wary eyes, glaring at her parents, looking suspiciously at Jack.

When her eyes landed on me her eyes widened and trembled in fright. Her body shook and she griped the white blankets. Soon she forced her breathing to a normal rhythm her eyes slowly grew harder and back to the cold distance eyes that I knew when we first met.

She looked away, never keeping her eyes on one person in the room instead opting to look at the white tiled floor and the white walls and ceiling.

"Where am I?" She Asked

"You're in the hospital. You went into coma after the duel." I informed her.

"I have no place now." She stated. We all stared at her. Place. She has no place. What was she talking about? We could get her an apartment; she could stay with her parents.

"You could stay with us sweetie." Her mother's soft voice spoke in the corner. Aki turned her head towards her parents and glared at them.

"When did you start caring? I really hope it wasn't after you kicked me out of the house." Her sarcastic tone made her mother cringe at the sound and grip her hand on her husband's bicep. Her husband looked away from his daughter. I guess he couldn't stand to look at he helped shaped her into what she was now.

"You have friends. Isn't that enough? He was using you. He didn't care about you or what happened to you." She stared at me her eyes quivering in anger.

"You think I don't know that. You think I didn't realize that. But where else was I supposed to go. My parents disowned me, I have no friends and all people everyone does is hate me. Tell me who am I going to go to?" She asked in a venomous tone.

"Duel me. If I win help us against the war with the dark signers. If you win you could go to a hotel on the border of the Satellite. Get a new identity. His name is John and he's kind." I told her. She narrowed her eyes into little deadly caramel slits.

"You have a deal." Her eyes relaxed out of there narrowed hold and she fell asleep.

The next day we stood in the hospitals parking lot. I was standing one side, she the other. Her eyes had a dull shine, she must have had the same nostalgic feeling I did.

"No mask." I asked.

"There is no need for it. It was my wall against the rest of the world, the barrier that stopped me from being freed by Sayer. The Black Rose died along with Sayer." Everything was quiet then she spoke again.

"You know the hardest part. Knowing that someone was using me for his own gain yet feeling like I lost a part of me." Then she made her move.

She sent me another crippling attack. I watched as her dragon's black thorny arm headed straight towards me, the wind was billowing and whistling. I watched it come closer but before it could wraps its arm around me I saw another body. The body was wearing black trousers and a white button up shirt and a brown jacket.

I also watched as the body, which now I saw up close, Aki's father, drop to the ground gently. The arm unwound its thorny vine and receded back to its original place. I pushed her father out of the way.

"Finish the duel." Aki begged me.

I made a daring combo and watched as her life points dropped to zero. She dropped to the ground. She looked at me, her caramel eyes wide, fresh tears falling.

"I actually did it Yusei. I did it. I controlled my powers." She stated and we both smiled at each other.

She did keep her promise. She came to the Satellite with us. When we landed Martha was there to meet us.

When Martha saw Aki standing next to me studying our home she smiled. Martha smiled at us and Aki turned to me.

"Who is the woman?" She asked.

"John's wife" I whispered back.

Amazingly we defeated the King of the Underworld our life went from hero to normal. That's when we started dating, with the hoaxing and coaxing of Jack and Mina.

Now we were split up. How could that be? After the years of no fighting, the love, the crying, and the late night's nightmares how could I just end it. Was she suffering in pain now that I was gone?

I wonder what she was doing right now. Was she missing me? Was she sitting on what used to be our bed and crying for me? Even though I tried to ignore these questions, I couldn't. The hardest thing to do was to forget her.

Even when I felt that painful tug of my heartstring, the bittersweet taste of those memories, I couldn't stop thinking about her. I never could.

Now I knew all of it was gone. The lazy afternoons, the dinners, the dates, going out with friends, the laughing, the nightmares, the comforting was all gone.

It was all pulled out from under my feet like a rug when I signed the papers and left them on the counter. I didn't realize how much this was going to affect me.

It wasn't my fault though, it was Jacks.

Jack was the one who put doubts in my head and called me to lunch on one of my days off. I could still remember what he said.

"Last night, the EnerDy detector picked up something. It was so strong that it blew the thing into bits. We think one of the dark signers is still alive. I don't know what this thing is but it's powerful."

We faced villains before but were they ever this strong? I asked myself.

I was going to Aki but then Jack stopped me.

"What if someone uses her against you? We already discussed what would happen if we got into a battle but what about Aki. She lost her powers. She is a good duelist but what happens when someone beats her. What then?"

Then he got me thinking. What if she couldn't protect herself? Her powers disappeared years ago. If this creature was anything like the King of the Underworld then she would need her powers.

Now that we were married she is perfect bait for me. They could hurt her, or worse kill her.

So that's why I went to a divorce attorney and requested divorce papers.

I didn't know if I could do it. I didn't know if I could just sign the papers, walk out of the door and never come back. Just the thought of leaving her made me doubt my decision.

So I left the papers on the counter and decided I would see her before I went.

I walked to our bedroom, I didn't sign the papers yet so it wasn't hers just yet. It was a comforting thought, but a small one at best.

I studied the bed. It looked another room. It had a dresser, a full-length mirror, a nightstand, ceiling light, and a bed. I felt my eyes move to the corner of the room. I could barely make out the outline of the silhouette of the folded dark blue comforter.

Then my eyes moved to her. The sheet hugged her silhouette showing her the outline of her legs and torso. It ended just above her chest showing her ivory shoulders and arms.

She was lying on her side, her hair fanned against the pillow. She was beautiful. She was always beautiful but right now I knew why she was called an angel.

I took each step carefully and kneeled at the edge of the bed. I reached my hand and stroked every piece of pale skin available. I followed her fingers up to her arm, across her collar bone, up her neck, following her jaw line. I brushed her cheeks, chin, nose, eyelids, and forehead, back down her nose and to her lips.

Every where my fingertips brushed sent little electric shocks that warmed my very blood. My heart was pounding painfully in my chest and the guilt weighed down on my shoulders.

I don't know how I could leave her. She was beautiful but I didn't deserve her. I never did. She was beautiful and perfect and I was just a lowly Satellite who happened to get lucky and she fell in love with me.

I leaned close and let my lips touch her forehead. Then I did the hardest thing for me. I walked out of the room. I couldn't take it any more.

Just looking at her made it harder to leave her and in order to insure her safety I needed to leave. I walked into the kitchen. I grabbed a peen from our red cup. I stood over the papers with a pen and went to sign my signature but had to stop due to the fidgeting of my hand.

I knew this was best for her so why couldn't I do it. Why couldn't I just walk away and forget about her. I put the pen down. I needed to relax. I was panicking.

Again I tried to sign my signature but my hand fidgeted again. I clenched my hands around the pen and signed the signature.

I did it I signed the papers. We were officially divorced.

Then I walked out of the door. I could feel my heart breaking in two and the hardest part was to walk away from the woman I loved.

4 months later I was staying at John's hotel at the border of the Satellite.

I couldn't get her out of my head. She haunted me day and night, her image every where I went. In my dreams if felt she was there. Standing in front of me, crying, and begging me why did I let this happen.

The next thing I knew is I jump up, my body soaking in a cold sweat. I knew that she wasn't there to comfort me. Oh I knew it very well but right then at those moments I wished she was there.

Why couldn't I accept that she wasn't my girl anymore? She signed the papers and sent them to me through the mail. This is was what I wanted right? For her to move on to someone else and leave me to suffer in self pity right? So why was I still doubting divorcing her?

The worst part is when she called me.

"Yusei tell me who is she? Was it me? Yusei why won't you tell me? She demanded me. I wanted to answer her but I couldn't. For her sake.

I heard her sob. I knew she was crying. Crying for me, crying for what could have, crying because of the pain and just plain crying because of the stress.

"Aki, I can't explain right now." Then I hung up before I could here her call my name again. I felt another painful tug at my heartstrings.

But I wanted to yell and scream that I would never have an affair. I wanted to explain the situation to her and part of me, whatever was left of me told me to make it up to her and that we would make it through alright.

But then the logic part told me did I really want to risk her being bait. Neither side would let up so I went with logic. Logic never failed right?

I snapped out of my trance, thanks to the nasally voice of the radio host.

"The next song is Better than Me by Hinder."

_I think you can do much better than me_

Along with I love you, I told her that everyday. She would argue that she was too good for me but in the end, I never stopped thinking that.

_  
After all the lies that I made you believe_

I know I didn't speak the lies but it was one of those lies that you were dead silent on. You made the person believe what they thought was the problem.

_  
Guilt kicks in and I start to see  
The edge of the bed  
Where your nightgown used to be_

I imagined it every day. When she got up from bed and picking out her clothes she would take her night gown off and put on the bathroom. Some days I would drag her back in bed. God I missed those days.

_  
I told myself I won't miss you_

I did miss her though. No matter how many times I told myself that I would know that it was a lie.

_  
But I remember  
What it feels like beside you_

Aki was always warm blooded. She radiated of warmth and innocence and I was so addicted to it, I didn't realize it till she was gone.

_I really miss your hair in my face_

I loved her hair in my face. She smelled of sweet peas and it was a rare smell to find among woman. It was soft and subtle and pleasing to the senses.

_  
And the way your innocence tastes_

She tasted of vanilla. A sweet savory smell that left me exploring her mouth for more.

_  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me_

I knew that and I wished I told her that.

_  
While looking through your old box of notes_

When I left in the middle of the night I on accident took her box of notes she wrote to me but never gave me.

_I found those pictures I took_

We went to a meadow once. She was wearing a white dress and with the flowers surrounding her and her laughing I couldn't help but take pictures of her.

_That you were looking for_

She sent me a note a few days after the divorce saying she wanted the pictures but I couldn't give them up.

_  
If there's one memory I don't want to lose  
That time at the mall  
You and me in the dressing room_

One day at the mall, when we were still dating, she called me in the dressing room, in store we were in at the time, because of zipper problem. Instead of helping her zip up the dress it turned out to an exchange of kisses which we were caught and thrown out of the store for. We never did stop laughing about it.

_I told myself I won't miss you  
But I remember  
What it feels like beside you_

_I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me _

_The bed I'm lying in is getting colder_

Ever since I left her, sleep was inevitable. I fall asleep to her even breathing and the soft warmth she radiated of but she wasn't her to do that.

_  
Wish I never would've said it's over_

I wished that every day but I can't turn back time.

_  
And I can't pretend... I won't think about you when I'm older_

I have to move on. For her sake.

_  
Cause we never really had our closure  
This can't be the end_

Could this be the end? I don't know anymore. I know we didn't have a closure. It's not called a clean break when you leave in the middle of the night.

_I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me_

_I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me  
(And I think you should know this)  
(You deserve much better than me)_

And as I listened to the rest of the song, I knew what I had to do. Even though how uncomfortable it made me to be with someone else she needed to move on. I also needed to call her and tell her the truth. She deserved to know.

I listened to the rest of the song. But for now I needed to forget about her. If only for a second though.

For those who read the other two in the series this explains who John is. You people know the drill, read and review please.


End file.
